Love Makes Room: Why Na-Jung Cried Lessons from Reply 1994

In the final episode of Reply 1994, in a cab on her way presumably to see Chilbong to check why he prematurely checked out of the hospital, Na-Jung got a text message just soon after she re-attached the battery to her cellphone. The message read : “Hi. It’s Oppa. Do you think you can come here now? I’m a little sick.”Na-Jung was incredulous at the message. She wept quietly at first, and then sobbed, a loud heart-wrenching sob coming from somewhere deep within her; long-forgotten, long-delayed, the pain finally wove its way to the present. Na-Jung cried all the way to Trash’s apartment, at first angrily fighting his embrace, and then crashing into his arms sobbing, no, wailing until there was no more fight left in her. This was the real turning point in their relationship.

 

Why did Na-Jung cry? What were those tears about?

 

Na-Jung cried out of “pikon.”She was upset. Why only now? Why did it take so long for this moment to come? Why did they both have to endure such pain and suffering all those years? Why did they waste so much time? Na-Jung was fed up! So she could not bring herself to welcome Trash’s embrace. – “Huwag mo akong yakapin! Inis na inis ako sa iyo! Grabe ang hirap ko sa iyo!” Trash understood. Despite her resistance, he held on to her and did not let go. He understood and respected how she felt at that moment. It’s okay for Na-Jung to be “pikon.”It was justified. Love makes room for “pikon.”

Na-Jung cried out of sheer exhaustion and relief. Finally! After too many years, she heard Trash say he was not okay and that he needed her. For all the years of their relationship, even when they had already fallen in love years before, Trash remained oppa to her – the older brother who wanted to show her only good, pretty and happy things, who shielded her from harm, who protected her from the unpleasant, who did not want her to worry. Because of the 

special years as brother and sister, Trash always had to be the strong oppa and Na-Jung the little sister. He wanted to be that for her. For the first time, Trash wasvulnerable. He was sick. He was weak. He needed her. He could not be without her. What a shift! Now, at this moment, love can truly begin to happen. Love makes room for vulnerablility.

 
Na-Jung cried because now she could breathe. She and Trash could be themselves! They did not need to hide from and protect each other anymore. In a previous conversation,
Na-Jung told Trash she did not know why they broke up. She thought that, just like other couples, it was because they grew tired of each other and gave each other a hard time. But in fact, it was because they did not feel free to be themselves. They were too careful around each other. Na-Jung said to Trash, “We should have just told each other that we were having a hard time if we were having a hard time. We should have said we were hurting if we were hurting. . .” Love chooses to welcome, accept, embrace everything about the other: big/small, mundane/profound, silly/significant, weak/strong, ambiguous/clear, cowardly/brave . . . everything mixed into the pot of loving. It is not about revealing only that which is beautiful, convenient, safe, comfortable. Love fades when the ugly is hidden. Love dies if it is shielded from pain. Love grows from shared pain and bears fruit in joy. Love makes room for the difficult, the disagreeable, the unlovely.

Na-Jung cried because she finally heard Trash say to her, “Saranghae.” For the first time in forever, Trash declared his love in no uncertain words; in words she had been longing to hear. When Na-Jung asked him to say the words before, he was quite dismissive. He said he already did so through his action, through his body. But he did not say the word. Na-Jung said, “You need to say it with words. Only then would I know.” Kailangan bigkasin ang pag-ibig! Not just in deeds. It is said that love is expressed more in deeds than in words. But the power of the loving word cannot be ignored. Words count because they help define identity and the nature of relationship. The familiarity of deeds can muddle love. Actions may be open to interpretation. But the articulated word is definite. Love is expressed both in word and deed; not one without the other. One without the other is incomplete. In “Saranghae”Na-Jung finally found the certainty she had been seeking in the relationship. Love makes room for words.

At that moment in the apartment, Na-Jung and Jae Joon (Trash’s real name) met forthe first time as themselves, not as little sister and oppa. Finally, they could cry together and find comfort in each other’s tears. Now they understood. Love makes room for heartbreak. Their hearts had to break in order to make room for more and more true love.

When we care enough to risk, to summon up the courage necessary and to dare to go beyond ourselves, love makes room.

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